My kids know the supper table is my favorite place in the world. WE have grown up there, together. I love good food, but I am there for the adventures. That table is my time machine.
We pass the wheel around for everybody to drive and take the whole gang of seven for a ride. There are some hairpin turns and deep dives, so to keep the gears greased the only rule is the biggest laugh of day gets dessert. It is always a five-way tie.
I am about to celebrate eighteen years as a dad on Father’s Day, that oldest daughter graduating high school, and her birthday, all at the same time.
I got lucky with her, I had no idea what I was doing and could not find a playbook anywhere, when I left the hospital with her in my arms. Whatever I messed up, her mother more than made up for. They are best friends, thank goodness.
So, I slowly took notes. I keep the pages that fueled the supper table time machine best and ripped up others. To be clear, I am convinced of nothing. I can’t wait to learn more. My own biggest lesson of all is wanting to get it right, much more than wanting to be right. Here are my notes I have tucked away so far, after round one as a dad:
Incredible H.U.L.K.
Heads up luck and karma can be incredible. Simply having our heads up, off a screen – to look and listen to more, allows our best processing chip to be curious. We can increase the odds dramatically for collisions into opportunities this way. There is an extroverted science and relentless math behind luck and karma.
Longcuts
Train our brains to enjoy the challenge of better questions, more than we hope it finds the answer to the first question. Take all the longcuts we can find. The added benefit is avoiding long lines, and crowds who prefer shortcuts.
AQ
More valuable than reaching a high IQ, is a desire to keep widening AQ’s – adjustment quotients. If we are humble enough to combine both, watch out!
Sell Stops
Do more of what’s working, less of what’s not. This works in every industry and more importantly in personal life.
BELIEVE
…but original source fact check.
Know JOMO
There is a true joy in missing out, purposefully avoiding unimportant stuff. (warning: JOMO will not be easy, and is an earned superpower)
Calculate Your Odds
We can try to become the best in the room, or find a problem that nobody is solving, in a wide open-space.
Don’t Finish
We are all works in progress. Don’t finish, just improve. And, it’s never too late to start anything good. Don’t worry about following a passion until we try a lot of likes first, and some pure guesses. There’s a good chance the right path chooses us, that way.
Be The Worst Multi-Tasker
Wherever we are, just be there, fully in THAT. Single-tasking will become one of the most uncommon skills, in any field.
Choose Wisely
We become what we think about most. Relentlessly and unapologetically, make the choice of positive thoughts.
Listen To Be Heard
The very best way to earn interest is to live an interesting life, by expressing deep interest in learning from others.
Dare To Be Different
At every high and low, remember LOVE is fiercest. And, wear it all on your sleeve so you can lift others because love is even fiercer together.
to be continued…
Now, if you’ll excuse me, before this next trip to the supper table I have to go figure out how to stuff an entire box of tissues in my inside and outside jacket pockets. My daughter knows when I run out, I will wear the rest of my blubber on my sleeves again.
If you are a parent who is not sure about all this stuff yet (both my hands still in the air), the fun is in not knowing. I have four more young kids to figure out what else I messed up the first time.
Worry not about those tears as they grow older. They are not sad ones. Mine will be mountain jumping a big ole smile tonight. There is this whole other level of joy when you start learning FROM these brilliant and curious young people. I love not having all the answers. Those are the best supper table talks, at any age.